u88D8Kj2Xcs.srt

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Okay,
so now I have played with kids that 

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haven't had any rough and tumble play 
and it's really hard to play with them 

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partly because they're there,
they're easily frightened,

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you know,
they'd like to play.

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I know how to play with kids.
They'd like to play.

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They're pretty hepped up on it,
you know,

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and they,
they really excited,

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especially about physical plane,
but they're awkward,

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you know,
so you play with them,

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they stick their thumb in your eye or 
you know,

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or they cry really easily with nothing 
really happens and like they just don't 

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have it together.
A kid that has done a lot of physical 

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interaction,
physical plane,

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that kid,
it's a different sort of kid because the

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first thing the kid knows,
it's not a rule.

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The first thing the kid knows is how 
forceful can he be with you so that it's

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exciting and interesting and fun,
but it's not too much.

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And that's really an interesting 
question because actually to really play

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a good game like a physical contact 
game,

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like wrestling with a kid is that you 
want to let that kid come right up to 

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the edge of hurting you.
And the closer the kid gets to the edge,

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the more fun it is for both because the 
kid will give you a whack and who you 

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know and that's,
it's good,

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you know,
and then maybe he'll give you a harder 

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whack to see if he can get away with it.
The kids will often,

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they'll come up to you,
whack you and then run away and then 

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they'll look and if you're laughing then
they'll come back and try a harder one 

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and then you know,
they're doing it incrementally because 

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it's exploratory behavior.
And part of the exploration is okay,

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what our bodies like.
And the answered that is,

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well,
what can you get away with doing to 

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them?

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But it's a more sophisticated answer to 
which is what can you get away with 

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doing to them in a way that allows you 
to continue to explore without fear or 

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punishment.
And without blowing the whole game to 

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bits,
okay,

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so how do you figure that out?
You do not talk about it because you 

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can't,
you have to act it out.

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It's like so.
So the kids hitting you in wrestling and

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pulling your hair and doing all these 
things and you're modifying its behavior

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very,
very carefully and,

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and,
and minuscule detail.

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And then you get a kid who can wrestle 
like mad and they're fun to play with.

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They bounce around like a dog that will 
bite you.

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You know,
a good well trained dog you can really 

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play with and you can play with them 
rough.

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And it's a blast.
The dog has a good time.

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That person has a good time.
It's like excellent.

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That's a socialized dawn.
So the other thing that kids learn 

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learns,
which is quite cool,

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is what hurts them and what doesn't and 
how afraid can they be and still have 

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fun.
So you know,

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when you're wrestling with a kid,
you've put them,

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you know,
you put them face down,

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you put your elbow on them,
you bend them around,

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you throw them in the air and catch 
them.

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You know,
you've grabbed him by the leg and maybe 

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you pull them over and you know,
and what you're showing the kid is 

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here's a bunch of things that your body 
can do and it's okay that they're,

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they're being done that isn't going to 
hurt you and you're not talking about,

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you're showing them and so the kid gets 
kind of about what he or she can 

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withstand physically and the difference 
between pain and not paying and the 

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difference between fear and not fear and
when something is threatening and when 

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it's not.

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It's very sophisticated.
It's very sophisticated behavior and 

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that's partly why kids love to play.
Now.

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One of the things that's happened,
which is you know,

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an indication of a deep sickness in our 
society is that I used to work in a 

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daycare center right when I was about 
your age because I really like kids and 

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they like to play with me because I know
how to play with them.

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And so one of the things I would do with
the little kids was I would draw them 

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horrible monsters,
right?

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Like big teeth things on.
I just sketched them out.

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They weren't any works of art,
you know,

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but those damn kids,
they would line up to get a picture of a

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monster,
draw me a picture of the monster,

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drop me a picture of a monster.
It's like they love those little 

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pictures of monsters so that I was 
pretty funny.

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And other thing I would do is play with 
them.

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I'd take them out in the yard and grab 
an arm and a leg and spin them around 

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and bend them over and,
you know,

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twist them around and let them crawl on 
me.

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And um,
there's always one kid in the group that

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couldn't do that though.
He's like,

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he hadn't been paid attention to enough,
you know.

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So he was,
I think it was like a Taoist uncarved 

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block,
very vague and ill defined and clunky 

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and so kid like that,
you know,

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you'd sit down,
it's so sad you sit down and you're 

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interacting with the kids and that kid 
comes along sort of lumping along,

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you know,
like this and they plop plop on your lap

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and they like,
they're about as sophisticated as like a

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six month old,
you know?

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And they're quite annoying,
you know,

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which is a horrible thing because 
they're so desperate for attention and 

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it's too late often by the time 
therefore it's like,

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good luck fixing that man.

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It's not going to happen,
you know,

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and those kids are just screwed because 
what happens to them is they're so lumpy

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and ill formed and,
and uncomfortable in their body and 

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socially clueless and inattentive and 
blind and ignored and resentful that no 

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other kids will play with them.
And it's no wonder because there are 

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other kids are way the hell up on the 
play development trend.

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And so their board staff by them,
it's like playing with a nine month old,

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which,
which kids will do,

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you know,
but that's not pure play.

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And so those kids just drift off.
They get,

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they stay on the outside of the peer 
group and they never get into it.

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They never get into it.
So very,

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very ugly.
And so now in daycare centers you can't 

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touch the kids.
It's like what the hell,

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you know?
Well why?

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Well,
because he can't distinguish play for 

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molesting.
It's like who can't distinguish that,

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you know?
And what are you going to do?

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You're not gonna.
You're gonna deprive.

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The kids have play because of your 
stupid paranoia.

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That's the whole.
That's the whole process,

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right?
Brilliant.

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Brilliant.
You know what you're doing is you're 

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teaching children that adults are so 
dangerous that they can't be trusted to 

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be near you.
That's a lovely thing to teach children,

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especially because they're going to be 
adults.