dQrV62DDr8w.srt

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Our daughter entered her life at 24 due 
to depression.

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If someone is determined to end their 
life,

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how can one change their mind?
Oh,

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well,
first of all,

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I'm very sorry about that.
That's a terrible thing.

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Look,
I had this friend her.

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Sorry.
There's been a lot of depression in our 

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family,
so it's a question that comes close to 

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the bone.

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Anyways,
I had this friend and friend of my 

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parents and her grand daughter committed
suicide.

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You know,
she was just beating yourself up about 

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that.
What could have I done?

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What could've I done differently?
This is the problem with suicide.

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It leaves everybody behind thinking,
Oh my God,

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what could have I done?
I could have treated the person better.

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I could have listened.
I could have been there.

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It's like,
and she was just beating yourself up 

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about this really feeling that she 
wasn't a useful person,

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that she'd failed as a grandmother.
She was a really good person,

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you know,
and so I went for a walk with her and I 

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said,
she's married and she likes her husband 

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and he's a really good guy.
And I said,

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look,
you're,

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you're blaming yourself for the,
for your granddaughter,

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suicide.
It's like,

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are you blaming your husband?
Are you sitting him down and telling 

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them what to use?
Useless bastard he was as a grandfather 

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because his grand daughter committed 
suicide and how he failed completely.

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She said,
no,

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I'd never do that.
So I said,

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well,
don't do it to yourself.

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No people.
Depression was a terrible thing and 

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many,
many,

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many things cause it and we don't 
understand.

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We understand some of them,
but lots of them we don't understand at 

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all.
You know,

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sometimes people get depressed because 
they're really sick.

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We know that depression can be an 
inflammatory disease,

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it might be associated with autoimmune 
dysfunction.

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There's lots of reasons that people get 
depressed and depressed.

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People can go places that are so dark,
you just cannot imagine it.

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And it isn't necessarily the case that 
you can always rescue someone,

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you know,
and,

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but,
but drowning yourself in the aftermath 

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of a suicide is not helpful.
So there's a,

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there's a good room for self forgiveness
there.

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You know,
I mean maybe you did some things you 

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shouldn't have done that were 
reprehensible and all of that,

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but you don't want to beat yourself up.
Remember the presumption of innocence,

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right?
Innocent until proven guilty and you 

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have to apply that to yourself.
I don't think.

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I think there are times when people are 
so depressed there.

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There isn't anything that anyone can do.
You know,

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when the depressed person thinks,
and this is probably the worst part of 

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it,
the depressed person thinks

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everywhere I look,
it's nothing but catastrophe and 

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there's.
I can't see any way out of it.

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I can't see any path forward whatsoever.
And then they think as well and maybe 

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it's the combination of these two 
thoughts that,

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that really make people suicidal so like
it's hopeless.

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It isn't going to get any better no 
matter where I turned.

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There's no escape.
The suffering is unbearable and I've 

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absolutely no use whatsoever.
Do anyone.

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It would be better for everyone if I was
just gone because I'm going,

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if I'm not so much of a burden now that 
it's going to destroy their life,

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then I'm going to be that much of a 
burden in the future,

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and so todd,
you imagine what that's like for people,

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but it's dreadful and there's lots of 
ways you get there and so you can listen

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to people.
You can desperately encourage them to 

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seek the help they need.

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You know,
like I've,

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I've seen antidepressants work miracles 
on very,

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very many people now.
They don't work for everyone and they're

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not a panacea but they have side effects
and all of that,

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but one of the side effects of untreated
depression is that you kill yourself and

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there is no recovery from that and are 
the probabilities actually rather high.

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So you can go to war with them about 
antidepressants.

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If the person can't get out of their 
depression and their and their suicidal.

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It's like,
what do they have to lose one month on 

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antidepressants?
They'll know,

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oh,
they might have to experiment longer 

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because it would depend on,
you know,

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some people respond better to some 
classes of antidepressants than the 

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others.
Um,

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it's worth having a war with someone if 
they're in dire straits and they won't 

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do everything they can to get better.
ECT works.

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Electric convulsive therapy works for 
intractable depression.

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It's a terrible thing to contemplate.
But the modern versions of ect aren't.

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One flew over the cuckoo's nest.
And again,

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it's like there's no coming back from 
death.

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So look,
it isn't clean.

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You can't rescue everyone.
People get sick and they die,

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and sometimes the way they die looks 
like it's depression.

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Depression is a multifaceted phenomena.
You can be there for them.

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You can listen,
you can watch,

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you can intervene,
you can try to understand,

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you can hold them accountable.
You can do all of those things but that,

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but everyone has their own destiny,
you know,

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and you're not omnipotent.
And so sometimes a catastrophe will 

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curse like your daughters and

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then,
and then you should try to drag the 

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least amount of misery forward that you 
can once you recover from your grief.

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Yep.